MORE THAN YOU WANTED TO KNOW!

Hi Everyone!

It's been quite a week! My parents' flew in from Southern California last Tuesday night. Ben graduated from high school Thursday night. Anna and Mary turned 13 on Friday. I came down with a vicious head and chest cold on Friday.

All this time I was still writing for Sunday but I felt like Father MacKenzie in the Beatles song, "Eleanor Rigby." I was "writing the words of a sermon that no on will hear." At first I thought no one would hear it because it is Memorial Day weekend and the Shilohfolks tend to head "upnorf" to their cabins/cottages for the weekend. As it turned out, no one heard the words of that sermon because I was in bed with a fever, cough, congestion, and dizziness!

As I type this I'm feeling a wee bit better but not out of the woods yet. The kind of sad thing is that this is the first preaching assignment I have ever missed. Yes, since 1974, this is the first time I have been too sick to preach. (Some of my people might not agree with that statement, however!)

Gratefully, Tom (the elder) stepped up and handled the service brilliantly. My dad pulled up a devotional from his teaching time in his church in California. We had a guy in church today who just got out of prison after 22 years and came to faith while inside. One of the Shilohmen who does prison ministry interviewed him. Sounds like everything went just fine without the Shilohguy!

Today is my mom's birthday. We walked down the street to watch the glorious Caledonia Memorial Day parade complete with tractors and horses, school bands, and plenty of VFW representatives. We just had a great chicken dinner and we'll have cake and ice cream for Mom a little later.

That's what I've been up to. I owe a couple of posts to people on a couple of subjects but I won't get to them until I'm feeling better. I've missed you guys lately! Thanks for stopping by.

AS YOUR OWN BODY

Ephesians 5:27-30 "...and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body."

Christ’s love for the church is demonstrated in the way he honored her and elevated her. We already referred to how he made her holy, cleansing her, and clothing her in his righteous raiment. But notice how high he lifted us up! From the very depths of sin and degradation to the kingdom of heaven! He took us from the realm of Satan and brought us into a loving relationship with God. He introduced us into his royal family so that we might call his Father our Father! Christ is proud of us! He wants to show us off! “His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 3:10). I have a picture in my mind of Christ taking his bride, the church, around heaven on his arm and showing her off to the rulers and authorities and princes of heaven! Brothers, this is what our love for our wives should be like! We are to honor our wives. We are to hold them up and respect them! We should never put them down or insult them or abuse them in any way! We lift them up and praise them with holy pride!

Finally, the church is the body of Christ. How does Christ care for his body? He provides constant watchcare. He is always with his church. (Matthew 28:20b) He never leaves us alone. He never forsakes us. We are always with him because we are his body. He provides for us everything we need. He protects us from the Enemy. He nourishes us spiritually through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. All these things he does for us because we are his body. This is the way we are to love our wives! “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:28). Please notice that Paul does not say, “Love your wives in the same way you love your own bodies.” He says that we are to love our wives as our own bodies! In other words, when we hear those words and take those vows, “and the two shall become one flesh,” we are actually one body! The woman was taken from the body of the man and marriage brings them back together again into one body! When we love our wives we are loving ourselves! When we hurt our wives we are hurting ourselves.

Men, I can’t let you go without impressing the importance of our responsibility upon you one more time. Loving our wives is not optional! God commands us to love. We will be held accountable. There are consequences if we fail to love our wives as we should. Here is the end of that passage in 1 Peter that we looked at earlier, “…and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” Our very relationships with God will be affected if we do not love our wives and give ourselves up for them. I wonder if the general weakness of the American church might be traced to the failure of Christian men to love their wives as they should.

AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:25-29).

Paul doesn’t leave us without examples. Our agape love for our wives will look like the love Christ has for the church. And as we look at the love Christ has for the church we can rejoice in this fact: This is how Christ loves me!

Christ’s love for the church is unconditional. In other words, his love for us is not based on any worth that is to be found in us. In fact, he chose to love us in spite of our unworthiness. “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). We were dirty, filthy sinners and enemies of God when Christ died for us! Look what he did for us! He made us holy! He cleansed us by washing us with the water of the word. He dressed us radiantly and removed every stain and blemish of sin. This is how Christ loved the church! And this is how we Christian husbands are to love our wives! There is no place for us to say, “But she’s a shrew! She doesn’t lift a finger around the house. She’s impossible to please. She’s not worthy of that kind of love.” Our love is unconditional! We choose to love because that is what Christ did for us!

Christ’s love for the church was demonstrated in the fact that he gave himself up for her. We think of the glories of heaven that Christ surrendered when he willingly came to earth in human form. We think of the poverty of his life. We think of all the things that he gave up for us. But that’s not what Paul says! He says that Christ gave himself up for the church! The Lord Jesus surrendered everything that was rightfully his and having surrendered everything, surrendered himself! He went to the cross and suffered and died for the sake of his church.

If you say, “I am willing to lay down my life for my wife,” you haven’t got it yet! Paul doesn’t tell us to be willing to give ourselves up for our wives. He tells us to do what Jesus did and completely surrender ourselves for our wives! What does that look like in day to day life? We put our wives first, before our careers, our comforts, our health, our friends, our hunting or golf, NCAA basketball on TV, before everything! If we want to know that we are loving our wives like Christ loved the church then we should ask ourselves every day, “Am I laying down my life for my wife?”

COMMANDED TO LOVE!

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

A second thing to notice is that when Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives,” he puts it in the imperative. It is a command! It may be important to notice that he does not speak to the wife in any imperatives in verses 22-24. He does not use a command when he tells Christian wives to offer their submission to their husbands. It is completely voluntary! But Christian husbands are commanded to love their wives! How in the world did we ever get to the point in our view of marriage where we thought we could demand submission from our wives? If anything, our wives would be on firmer ground if they reminded us that Paul commanded us to love them! Men, how serious is this? We cannot afford to take this command lightly!

We are fallen, sinful men. How are we supposed to love our wives this way? Most of us weren’t raised this way. Our culture doesn’t promote this kind of loving relationship. How can we swim against the current and be so different from the world? Paul has already told us how we can do it. He told us to be filled with the Holy Spirit. The only hope we have is to be filled with the Holy Spirit and let him guide us in our marriages. Let him show us how we are supposed to love our wives and treat them gently. Do you want to know if the Holy Spirit is working in your life? One way you can tell is by looking at the way you love your wife! If you are loving her like Christ loved the church then you can be assured that the Holy Spirit is doing his good work in you!

(This series is being simulposted at Bluecollar where most of the discussion is taking place. Please use the link in the sidebar.)

LOVE YOUR WIVES

Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"

Just as their wives are no longer to be like Gentile wives, these Christian husbands are no longer to live like their Gentile counterparts. The typical Ephesian husband was a domineering husband. His wife existed to give him children and to take care of him and his home. He controlled his wife and treated her like she was his property. Paul tells the Christian husbands that they are to be imitators of God. They are to be filled with the Holy Spirit. They should make sure the Holy Spirit is leading them in their husbandly attitudes and activities.

One of the first things we notice is what Paul does not say. He does not say, “Husbands, make sure your wives submit to you as I told them to do.” He does not say, “Husbands, be sure you are the head of your wife. Make sure she is under your control.” He does not say, “Watch her very carefully and make sure she doesn’t do anything to embarrass you or bring shame to your name.” He does not say, “Make sure to keep your wife busy at home.” These things might sound kind of funny to you but I assure you, they are no joke. I have actually heard preachers and speakers say that Christian husbands have a duty to make sure they do all these things in their marriages! They say that these are the things Paul is talking about when he speaks of male headship in the home.

What Paul says is, “Husbands, love your wives.” I want us to take a closer look at that simple statement. The word for love is agapao, the verb from which we get the more commonly known noun, agape. This is the kind of love that is best described by actions rather than feelings. It is a self-sacrificial love. It is a serving love. It is the kind of love that seeks the welfare of the other person first. This is what Paul wants Christian husbands to do. It has nothing to do with feelings or emotions of love. It has to do with a decision that a husband makes to treat his wife in a loving way. It is this kind of love that completely rules out the possibility of domineering tyranny over the wife. A husband who loves his wife will treat her very gently, carefully, and considerately.

Peter writes, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life” (1 Peter 3:7). Those words “weaker partner” do not really convey what Peter is saying. They could be better translated as “more fragile vessel.” In other words, husbands, your wife is like a crystal chalice while you are like a fifty gallon drum! How do you treat a valuable piece of crystal? With gentleness. With care. With love.

(This series is being simulposted at Bluecollar where most of the discussion is taking place. Please use the link in the sidebar.)